Collin, the Super Child Genius

Not a day goes by where I am not completely blown away by how incredibly intelligent my son is. He started reading by the time he was 2 just like I did, and now I can see his reading and writing ability has surpassed what mine was at age 4.

At just 4 years old he can pick up any grade level book and read it, and not just read it aloud but actually comprehend what he is reading.

Not only can Collin read, but he can spell too. I let him play with my phone from time to time, and one of the ways he picked up spelling is through the "auto-complete" feature that most texting phones have. This is the feature where you punch in the first few letters and it gives you a row of words that match so you can select one without having to spell out the entire word.

He'd get on my phone and send text messages to his mom and a few of my friends, and they'd be nothing but long lists of words he picked out.

He has come a long way since then, and now he can actually type to you what's on his mind.

The Nintendo Wii gives you the ability to send e-mail, and I like the fact that you have to register addresses before they are able to send you messages. This is perfect for my son, whom I want to introduce to the world of e-mail without having to subject him to advertisements for natural male enhancement from Darren Rowse's imposter.

Well last night when I got home late, I found this in my Gmail inbox:



I have never received a better e-mail in my life.

The Dude Cleans Up Nice

Well, maybe not. But at least I gave it the ol' college try. I think I'm going to grow my beard back that way people can actually tell I have a jaw.

The Winning Hairstyle...

After receiving suggestions via e-mail, MySpace, and this blog, I have decided upon the hairstyle I will get this afternoon.



Why am I posting this picture and not just a picture of my haircut after I get it done? Safety net. If I'm making a mistake, someone out there has roughly 4 1/2 hours to make an impassioned plea for me to have something else done to my head.

Start the clock... now.

Sometimes I forget he's only four...

My son is so extremely intelligent for his age that sometimes I forget that he's only four. Tonight while I was in a vulnerable position in the bathroom, I asked Collin to go downstairs and get me some toilet paper. He came back up with three sheets.

He did exactly what I asked. I should have asked for a roll instead of "some".

Photo courtesy of Flickr user Merelymel13

Someone please fix my head

It's haircut time again and in reflection, my last two haircuts have been colossal failures. I have not cared for the last two months and just went with "whatever", and "whatever" hasn't gotten me any positive attention during that time.

But the last two haircuts is just part of a long history of bad haircuts, as this video from August 8, 2006 demonstrates.



It has gotten to the point where if I don't put any sort of product in my hair (namely pomade) then I end up looking like Moe from the Three Stooges with a beard. It's horrible, and I need to come out of the gate with a good look this time around.

So now I turn the keys to the hair on my fat head over to you. I need image links, drawings, or whatever you can find that demonstrate which is the best haircut for me and why.

A Woman's Five Secrets for a Perfect Relationship

1. It's important to have a man who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.

2. It's important to have a man who can make you laugh.

3. It's important to have a man who you can trust and who doesn't lie to you.

4. It's important to have a man who is good in bed and who likes to be with you.

5. It's very, very important that these four men don't know each other!

(This was forwarded to me in my e-mail today.)

Photo by Flickr user nattu

Blinded by Your Crystal Ball

Driving along the road I get a sharp blip in my peripheral vision in the rear view mirror. "What the hell was that?" I mutter in my inner dialogue.

A moment later as the cars are picking up speed after the limit increased, I see police lights out of the corner of my eye, flashing at me and reflected through my mirror. I glance up for a better look, and I see no police car, no lights... but wait, something just blinded me from the car behind me.

"What the hell IS that?" I'm trying to keep my eye on the road, but there is some kind of disco ball hanging from the rear view mirror of the car behind me.

It's no disco ball, however. It's a crystal ball that supposed to create rainbows inside the car. It may accomplish that, but it manages to piss off the surrounding drivers in the process.

What do you think about these crystal balls hanging from people's rear view mirrors? Are the owners of these crystal balls aware of the visual distraction it causes to other drivers? Do you have one of these things in your own car? Has anyone ever complained to you about the distraction?

Or am I completely alone and nuts on this deal?

Photo by Flickr user shimown

I have a crush...

...from someone on me!

Okay, as we covered yesterday, online advertising never lies. So yesterday a banner ad claimed that I am liked in Milford. Again, knowing that online advertising is 100% accurate, I asked those Milford peeps to step forward. No one did.

So today, I have been hit with this:


It now appears that one of my buddies has a full blown crush on me. I'm taking that to mean one of my female buddies friends, because the flip side is... well... no.... NO! (Not condemning the lifestyle, simply stating it is not my choice.)

Anyways, knowing that online advertising NEVER lies, it's time for my crush to reveal herself since clicking on the ad did not reveal it. So I'm definitely flattered and who knows, I may even reciprocate!

Don't be shy, tell this guy... or online advertising's reputation for honesty may be forever tarnished.

My Friends from Milford Like Me...

Was cruising through MySpace and got hit with this banner ad. As advertising never lies and is always 100% accurate, my curiosity got tickled.



Awwwwwww... so is it like more than a friend? If so, is it strictly platonic, or are we getting it on at some point?

Inquiring minds want to know.

(Don't burst my bubble about the fallacy of online marketing... MySpace would never, ever lie to me, so I know my Milford admirer is out there.)

Gas Prices So High, Even the Kid Can See

I was playing "gas station" with my boy this evening before his bedtime, and after deciding on which kind of gas he wanted I let him know it was going to be $4.00 per gallon.

Let's just say that wasn't cool with Collin. Listen to his reaction.

Shorted Change: How do you handle it?

Image: Mike at the pub.

Over the weekend my brother and I visited our favorite local pub to sing some karaoke and visit with some friends.

During the course of the evening, we had an awkward situation with our server: we gave her a twenty dollar bill and she brought back change for a ten.

My brother and I politely told her that I gave her a twenty, to which she swore we gave her a ten. We had just started drinking, so there was no lapse in judgment. I explained to her that I had all twenties and a ten when we walked in. I used the ten to pay for a pitcher of beer when we first got there, so there was no way I could have given her anything but a twenty when we paid the second time. I even reminded her that when I paid earlier with the ten, she handed me back the three dollars in change, of which I gave her back two of it as a tip.

Nobody was yelling, nobody was trying to be a jerk about it. It was pretty busy that night, and it was an understandable mistake. She could have gotten a manager, if she felt we were wrong. Instead, she walked up to the bar, grabbed ten dollars, came back to the table and threw the ten dollar bill on our table in disgust and walked away.

From that point forward she didn't so much as make eye contact with us. That didn't make us feel comfortable about staying there, that's for sure. So we finished up our beer and went to another pub.

Have you ever faced a dispute over being shorted change, where the person you gave the money to claims you gave them a smaller bill than what you actually did? What happened and how did it get resolved?

Do you remember to eat breakfast?

Photo courtesy of Flickr user Lex in the City

Do you remember to start your day with a healthy meal? Or do you skip breakfast all together? Maybe you choose not to eat breakfast.

It's hit or miss for me. When I have my son during the week I'm great about eating breakfast since I'm serving him breakfast as well. During the weekends, I'm not so good with keeping up the routine for myself.

If I have something quick and easy that I can just grab off the shelf and go, my breakfast batting average probably goes up about 10%.

Speaking of quick and easy, if you're into granola you can get a free sample of "Quaker Simple Harvest" by clicking here. I selected the dark chocolate chunk myself.

Thanks to The Bargainist for this free sample tip!

Kicking the Warcrack habit; Back to Ubuntu

I hadn't booted my Ubuntu partition in a couple of months, so after a sleepless night this morning seemed like the perfect opportunity to do so.

I stopped using Ubuntu for a foolish reason: World of Warcraft was consuming a horrendous amount of my time and I couldn't get it to run properly in Linux.

That's right, I said it. I was addicted to World of Warcraft. It has stolen over three months of my recent life and I let it. I fell into a terrible funk at the end of October and Warcraft came along and fed on my vulnerability.

Every day for the last three months I have faithfully logged into my account, slayed monsters and fought in battlegrounds all in a futile attempt to elevate myself above "noob" status. What do I have to show for it? One lost friendship, ten extra pounds and a hefty feeling of regret.

I woke up yesterday and finally realized for myself that my Warcrack habit was stupid. Halle-freakin-lujah. Just wish I would have woke up to that fact at least two days earlier so I didn't have to shell out another $15. Better late then never.

I am a fantastic procrastinator. Some of my best work has been done in the waning moments of a deadline. It's so much easier to play a couple more rounds of Freecell than to stop and brainstorm or pick up the phone and make that first dreaded call of the day. To combat my natural tendency to slack, I installed a Ubuntu partition on my hard drive.

Ubuntu is so business-like. Fewer games available to play and free productivity applications around every corner. When I boot up my computer to that plain brown wallpaper I actually want to get things done.

So I have affirmations for myself now that I'm freed from the clutches of Azeroth. I'm going to start wearing my bluetooth ear piece and take calls. I'm going to read my e-mail, and better yet, I will respond in a timely manner. I will use Instant Messaging again.

I will pull my eBay box out of my closet and start selling my junk again for bar money.

I will write every day. I will engage in conversation on current events. I will read blogs and comment on thought provoking entries.

I will reconnect with friends and family I have neglected over these past few months.

I will be Michael Beck once again.

Now it's your turn: What's an addiction or habit that you've had to kick and how did you kick it?